[ Section 5: How to Join ]
?How NOT To Join?
These are common pitfalls that will self-torpedo your efforts to join the Corps.
Mail that is:
- HTML, UUencoded, MIME encoded (It's plain text or the bit bucket)
- all caps/lowercase
- lacking/excessive punctuation, grammatical structure
- Promises undying devotion, willingness to do whatever you're told
- Threatening, cajoling, or implication we have no choice in the matter
- Requests that indicate you've not done your homework
- Begging for acceptance
- Promises certain things in return for acceptance
From: [name withheld]@aol.com
Subject: HELP ME JOIN TRES CORPS!!!!!
TELL ME EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW TO JOIN TRES CORPS IM SO EXCITED TO JOIN
From: [name withheld]@hotmail.com
I petition your greatness to admit my humble self into your
organization. I am quite loyal and will do everything I'm told.
Please respond soon...
From: [name withheld]@netcom.ca
Subject: TRES Corps
You have a 48 hours to respond to my request before my mighty fleet
of space ships (in cloaked orbit) opens fire on your HQ in Colorado and
vaporizes it. Please post your decision on your organization's homepage so
I know your response.
47 hours, 59 minutes, 55 seconds...
From: [name withheld]@fuse.net
Subject: tres corps
From: [name withheld]@flash.net
I hate b'harnii with all my passion. I will hack into Barney Online
and destroy that putrid site if you admit me to TRES Corps!
As you can see, none of these mails were ever answered or considered for membership.
All that said, here's how you get into the Corps. :)
#1: Place reason and rationality first in your dealings with people
#2: Think, then act. Not the other way around.
#3: Articulate yourself as best you can.
These are three of things we look for as prime criteria. Emulation
doesn't work for long.
The people to contact are, in order:
Grand Admiral Davies, email@example.com
Admiral Felton, firstname.lastname@example.org
Admiral J-Rock, email@example.com
Please do NOT contact Admiral J. FoxGlov nor Admiral Marburger (DL),
as they are no longer processing induction requests, even though their
names are scattered around our documents.
Contents Section 1 Section 2 Section 3 Section 4 Section 5 Footnotes Appendix 1